Old traditions, new realizations

This Chinese New Year was the first time I celebrated with my family since coming to college. I enjoyed the annual 2017 新年晚会 with crazy and funny skits. I ate a wonderful Chinese potluck dinner with family friends. As per tradition, the family friends circle collectively made more than 200 dumplings. It was the whole shebang (except for the lack of 红包).

However, with all Asian parties, there is always a time of greeting, and this time was super awkward. I was not quite sure why this time was more awkward than before, but after reflection, I came to the realization that I had little confidence in my Chinese. Whether it was speaking to my parents or other people’s parents, words and grammar were not coming to me the way they were before. My accent is slowly growing. I’m slurring words more often to compensate. I am truly falling under the oh-so-relevant saying: “If you don’t use it, you lose it.”

Thinking about this has made me uneasy, but there isn’t much I can do this semester to appease the unease. I already have many commitments, and learning chinese is a tall order. This won’t have a high priority on my things to do list, but with this blog, it will serve as a note to remind me of this realization.